I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
how do flat chested girls get laid?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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