You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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