Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
