I just cut my nipple shaving
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
