I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
