She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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