just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
