just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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