You made me cry and you don't even care
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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