4 words: hood of his car
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
