I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Come share oat with me in your robe
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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