hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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