My friends, they love my intelligence
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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