His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
