Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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