They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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