marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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