I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
