There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
