yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
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He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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