Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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