I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
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We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
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He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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