She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
