He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Are my feet made of real feet?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
