It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
