Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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