You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
