the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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