You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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