Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
