Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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