hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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