Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
