wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
