Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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