look no pants
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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