what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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