About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
