he shaved USA in his pubs
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
