ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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