when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
