i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The Olympian is in my bed
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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