if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
