It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
