Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I supernannyed him into submission
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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