erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
