i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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