Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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