He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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