i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
