My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
