The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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