There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
