So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
