what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I came so hard my ears popped.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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