Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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