He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
