Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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