i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
