I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
