I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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