Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
farters have to be the big spoon...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
