so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
