Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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